Pip Christmass recaps SAS Australia episode five: Beach beastings and one big ego
It’s day five of SAS Australia and there are 13 remaining recruits waking up sore and tired after another mentally and physically punishing day which saw model Simone Holtznagel hand in her number.
We haven’t seen too much of NRLW player Millie Boyle yet, but this episode kicks off with the 23-year-old helping to patch up various aches and pains from the previous day’s challenges, a little bit like a youthful den mother.
WATCH THE VIDEO ABOVE: Locky Gilbert gets taken down a peg in SAS interrogation room
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At 50, AFL legend Wayne Carey’s body has been through a lot.
His shoulder isn’t in great shape and he’s not able to hang “from” anything because he can’t lift one of his arms up high enough.
But he says he’ll only take his number off if he physically can’t take another step – and day five is set to challenge that commitment.
“Come on, hurry up, let’s get a spark up our arses!”, Ant Middleton yells in typical Yelling Ant fashion as the recruits head towards their first challenge.
Taking the lead
Episode five is about leadership – and with a lot of clashing egos in this group, who is going to come out on top on the leadership stakes?
Trust, communication and team-work is paramount for the SEAL exercise, in which the recruits have to endure a water “beasting” and get through some punishing surf to get back to shore.
Wayne Carey and Pauly Fenech are named as the leaders of two separate groups and Wayne’s feeling pretty confident about his leadership skill – he was, after all, the captain of North Melbourne by the time he was 21.
But let’s backtrack for a sec – what exactly is a “beach beasting?”
Well, it involves running into the surf fulling clothed, then running back onto the sand and rolling around in it, then crawling like a bear back into the surf, then ….
(Sorry, I got tired after writing the word “running.”)
It’s a task too far for rugby player Ellia Green, who withdraws after struggling in the surf, promising Ant Middleton she’s given it her all.
And from what I’ve seen, she really has. I’m sad to see her go.
“I don’t regret a single thing I’ve done in this course, because I’ve found out a lot about myself,” she says.
Meanwhile, reality TV star Locky Gilbert is digging a metaphorical grave for himself by admitting that, apart from appearing in reality TV shows, he “hasn’t really worked” for 10 years.
“It blows my mind that people get up and go to work every single day,” he says, sounding incredulous.
REALLY, LOCKY?
OH. MY. GOD.
“Living a mundane, boring life … I’ve just done whatever I wanted to do … and it’s got me this far,” he says, big, cheesy grin spreading across his face.
Oh dear god. I’m speechless.
Waterfall challenge
The second challenge of the day is one you’d have to pay me vast amounts of cash to undertake: climbing up a ladder alongside an 80m high cliff face in the midst of a thunderous, pounding waterfall.
Now, waterfalls are lovely, majestic things to look at – from a distance.
Being in the middle of one, probably not so much.
Have I mentioned my fear of heights yet (I have? Ok, ok).
And once again, Locky and Pauly Fenech are butting heads.
For Locky, it’s a “my way or the highway” mentality and it leads to a massive verbal bust-up on the drive back to base camp.
“You gotta drop the ego!” boxer Ebanie Bridges observes, but her voice is lost amongst the competing testosterone of Pauly and Locky.
Later, Locky gets called in to the interrogation room, but not before a physically wrecked Wayne Carey voluntarily withdraws from the course.
I’m sad about this.
In earlier episodes, Wayne came off as a bit of an airhead, but more recently he’s shown himself as a strong leader and a voice of calm among the raging egos.
Locky vs Pauly
In a bit of fireside verbal biffo, Locky tells Pauly he’s acting like a 12-year-old (the pot calling the kettle black, IMHO).
Pauly fires back, calling him a “d***head” and a bully.
Back inside base, Locky has a bit of a cry – he doesn’t want anyone thinking he’s less than the best – at everything.
He can’t understand for the life of him why Ant Middleton has called him the biggest “liability” of the group after he repeatedly questioned Pauly’s orders during the waterfall challenge.
Ant thinks Locky’s the type of bloke whose ego would get himself – or someone else – killed in a real-life SAS situation because “he thinks he knows everything … he put this whole team in jeopardy.”
The tough-spoken DS says he’d love to cull him from the course, and his colleagues seem to agree.
Ant’s first question to him in the interrogation room is pretty blunt: “Who the f*** do you think you are?”
Locky seems stunned that he may have to stop putting himself first and consider the team as a whole.
Remember, this is the bloke who described his life approach as “Team Me,” so this is gonna be a BIG ask.
What’s under the self-absorbed reality TV veneer of Locky Gilbert?
I, for one, am looking forward to finding out.
SAS Australia airs 7.30 pm Monday and Tuesday on Channel 7 and 7plus, where you can find uncensored episodes, uncut interrogations, and phone calls home.
Pip Christmass recaps SAS Australia episode five: Beach beastings and one big ego
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